Thank You
First, I want to thank all of you for your continued support. Some of you have been here since the beginning, way back in April of 2011. Back then I was a married mom of one.
By the way, does anyone remember when General Hospital Blog used to look like this?
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Back when I started GH Blog my daughter was 3 years old. Then, all of a sudden she’s 16! Time sure flies because her little brother is now 10, and turns 11 in May. Unfortunately, the marriage between myself and my ex-husband was troubled and I filed for divorce in 2022. I’m not sure how many of you are divorced, or divorced with kids, but I’ll tell you something- I had no idea the type of challenges I’d face. In fact, many divorced friends can’t even fathom what has come my way in the last two and a half years.
My Story- A Brief Summary- The Abuse And Illnesses
I was in an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship since I was 18 years old. He was as my only “real” boyfriend, and by that I mean beyond high school. In fact, we met just after HS, when we were both 18. I can’t get into all of that stuff because I’m already starting to cry. Needless to say, Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve (TS), is my life motto now. Lies, manipulation, financial secrets, zero empathy, I was devalued and invalidated, ignored, and more which took a toll on my health. Emotional distress manifested into physical ailments, and the medical issues I already had were exacerbated by his constant emotional abuse. The manipulation caused severe cognitive dissonance. Furthermore, I’ve had full blown panic attacks where my hands involuntarily curled into a claw shape.
I was born with congenital heart defects and migraine disease. Yet he would poke and poke so that we would argue to the point where it felt like a 400lb person was sitting on my chest. In addition, I suffered severely from migraines my entire life. And in 2012 we were in the thick of our marital problems, and I was at my sickest point. I couldn’t even drive my daughter to school because on the way there at random I would get the visual aura and go blind. Immediately, a woosh of nausea would take over. Then, about 20-30 minutes later I would suffer from excruciating pain in my head. I’d throw up, I’d sweat and shake, my face, arms, and legs would go numb, and at any point I could be curled up on the bathroom floor, lying naked in my worst Hell.
Do You Suffer From Migraines?
If a migraine came on at any point before he had to go to work, he’d get mad, act extremely stressed and say things to me and make me feel bad about him having to figure out childcare for our daughter. Yes, I felt guilt for being sick. Well, he knew that once I got the visual aura, I had a 20 minute window to force myself to sleep, or spend countless hours in the type of pain that he couldn’t even imagine. Yet he still badgered me as I was racing to beat a ticking time bomb in my head (and entire body). And I would ask, “What has to happen? Do I have to be on my deathbed for you to give a sh!t?”
It’s weird because I would call him out at every chance I’d get for showing no empathy, or twisting my concern around on me. He’d blame me for something he did, or blame me for being upset with him for something he did. I was never heard, validated, or justified. The arguments never led to any resolution. Everything I felt and explained was minimized; simplified to its most basic form to make me sound like I’m completely ridiculous. And he never had my back. It was never husband and wife against a situation, but it more situation and husband against wife. I didn’t have the support of my partner. I would tell him that he doesn’t love me the way a husband should love his wife.
Cognitive Dissonance
There was always a darkness about him but it was so difficult to detect. He was a smiling comedian to the public- and even to me. But then he wasn’t. Behind closed doors I could be curled up in a ball begging him to stop- and he’d just tell me that I’m crazy. Or that I’m abusive if I yelled. And a couple times I even threw an object across the room. Today, I no longer blame myself. I know that what happened to me is called Reactive Abuse. And I’m sick of the fingers pointing at me for reacting to his incessant abuse.
Oh Em Gee guys, take a look at how poorly my articles were written back in 2013!
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Scotty Baldwin (Kin Shriner) Returns to GH
Arguments would turn into full on meltdowns and panic attacks. And then I was told that I AM always yelling and have a foul mouth- because he’d push every button in my soul until I would explode in one way or another. He wouldn’t stop even when it was making me physically ill. So then I’d snap and use profanity, get wild and all that stuff lol. Plus, I’m Italian. My entire voice on a regular day is at the level of yelling. All jokes aside, I never knew that the things I’d call him out on since age 18 were collectively something real.
Truthfully, I hate that this comes out at this time when this word runs rampant in our society. I think the term is overused and misused at times. Yes, it’s Narcissism. I’m not going to delve into that here because you can find a million resources online that are better suited to inform the public on the topic. But narcissistic abuse is real. And covert narcissistic abuse is pure HELL. When they take family members who they KNEW never had your best interest, and team up with them to subtly torture you, and convince people that you’re the slime bag- it’s like living in my own personal Hell.
It’s Been Over Two Years, Let It Go…
Have you ever told the truth, and you knew from your heart that you were telling the truth, but no one believed you? Did you and your siblings ever stay home alone and possibly break a valuable object in the house, and you got blamed? But you know damn well you didn’t do it. What’s worse is that not only did you not do it, but you were the one that advocated to take precautionary measures to ensure the safety of the precious object? It could’ve been your mom‘s statue of Elvis Presley, like Screech from Saved By The Bell. I wonder how many of you will get that reference and smile. 😊
Remember This 2013 Storyline?!
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Who is Sam Morgan’s Father?
That’s what it felt like every time he didn’t have my back. Or every time I’d go to him with my feelings and the get blamed and insulted for feeling that way. And I was always wrong. He became home from work and told him something interesting that I found out that day, question my sources. Like I’m stupid, but then the next day someone at work were telling me exact same thing and suddenly he believed it. Deal with that for 22 years. No thanks.
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Post Divorce
Fast forward to post divorce, and it turns out that apparently there’s no freedom even when you leave a man like this. Not yet anyways. He’s become more angry and more vindictive than ever. He uses the kids to hurt me and does not care that he hurts them in the process. He wants what he wants, and he threatened them with the things they love like their sports, hanging with friends, connecting to the outside world, and ultimately keeping them from communicating with me when they’re on his time.
But if that wasn’t bad enough, this man actually lies and says that I am the one doing those things. He has brought me to court and filed a motions for parenting time, and falsely accuse me of being on drugs. The humiliation I felt and the fear I faced, although I knew I wasn’t on drugs was paralyzing. And he did all of this to gain control over the kids.
This man refuses to believe that introducing your children to two different women (with kids of their own, so shame on those women!) within a few months of moving out of your family home after 15 years isn’t going to affect the kids in the way that it has. He tells me that I put it in their heads. When we first moved out into separate apartments, he took one of our dogs, and I took one of our dogs and our cat. Suddenly, Salami (the dog I rescued and my son named) wasn’t at Dad’s house anymore.
My Kids Love General Hospital Too!
That’s when the kids told me that their dad had been keeping the dog at his mother’s home. My son adores that dog and he and his big sister looked forward to a sense of familiarity and comfort. When I address the issue, that’s when I was told that I’m full of it and that I put this stuff in the kids heads. My kids were scared because they didn’t know why their dad was trying to take them away from their mom. But he blamed me for their awareness of the situation. They were 15 and 9 at the time. Of course they’re going to be aware of what’s going on.
If you thought he’d feel shame or embarrassment after falsely accusing the mother of his children of being on drugs for his personal control, then you’ve never dealt with this type of monster. It’s ok, many people haven’t. Shockingly, (yet understandable), this only fueled him to keep going. One year later and he opened a custody investigation with claims that I violate our parenting time order. (He’s threatened the transportation arrangements that he initiated every time he doesn’t get his way- because he knows the kids and I don’t want it to change). He’s also formally accused me of being on drugs for the second time! And he claims that I violate the court order when in actuality, he is the one who goes back on his word. He breaks agreements with me, does not co-parent in good faith, and vindictively keeps the kids my family events.
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For example, the kids, and I had to attend my nephew’s First Holy Communion. Unfortunately, it landed on a Sunday that was my ex’s parenting time. On Sundays the parent who has the kids has them until 6 PM. So I had asked if I could get the kids at 10:30am because of the event and he said yes.
A day or so later we got into an argument and then suddenly he tells me that I’m not picking up the kids until 12:30pm. The event started at 1 PM. He already knew the name of the venue, and calculated the time that it would take for me to get there. I told him that’s not enough time and that the kids would have to get ready. He told me to have our 15-year-old daughter bring her clothes in the car and change. It got so bad that he told my daughter he would block his door to his apartment so that they couldn’t leave.
LIES, LIES, and MORE LIES!
Needless to say, when it comes time to holding up his end of the bargain, he doesn’t. Not only do I get screwed out of that parenting time, but he flips it around and says that I’m trying to abduct my own children. Such as on a holiday that he had last year because I WAS NICE AND AGREED TO SWAP- but then says we never had an agreement. And that’s what he submits to the court. Then, I have to fight like Hell for the truth to be heard. It’s absolutely exhausting and time consuming, and my work has severely suffered. At the end of the day, I know the truth will prevail. But to live this way every day, is emotionally and psychologically exhausting.
Skills Of A Covert Narcissist- Acquiring Flying Monkeys
My sister schedules play dates with my son and hers on my ex-husband’s days. One time she wanted to take my son to a certain place and I had said no, and told her that I’m not comfortable with him being there without me. I am a mother and her sister for crying out loud. So one day, I hear my nephew (her kid) talking on PlayStation with my son. He asked him if he’s excited for Thursday. My son had no clue and he asked, “why, what’s Thursday? Then my nephew asked my son if he’s at his mom’s (me) house, and my son said yes. That’s when I chimed in and asked my seven-year-old nephew at the time, “yeah, what’s Thursday?” he got all tripped up and said that he had to go.
Long story short, my sister went against a MOTHER’S wishes- her own sister mind you- and taught her seven-year-old to lie to adults. She taught him to be a sneaky little freak and it makes me sick. God forbid she got the chance to sneak away with my kid and something happened?! What then? Who does that to their sister? I would love to blame my ex-husband for this one, but he knew our entire lives that my issues with my sister go much deeper than the typical sibling rivalry. So used her (his flying monkey), and the situation against me.
Emotionally, This Is Exhausting
Imagine going through a divorce and then imagine not having support even from your own sister. Emotionally, this has been a scary ride and I just want it to be over. I’m still facing all of his parenting time allegations along with extreme financial problems on top of the emotional and psychological effects of his taunting and harassment. Did I mention that he taunts me in text messages? He tells me to get a man. And he tells me to have fun with and “George Glass,” (Brady Bunch reference to an imaginary boyfriend), he taunts me when he files motions against me and says, “it’s not over,” and “there’s more coming.” he also taunts me about paying my bills. After so many years of this, my body, mind, and soul is in fight or flight mode.
Incessant Messaging And Panic Attacks
Every time he sends me a message it’s a manipulative tactic to set me up. Lately he’s been messaging me every single day, pretending that he doesn’t know the pick up arrangements because he filed a motion to change parenting time. He wants to go one week on, and week off with the kids. And the kids and I have repeatedly told him that we cannot go a week without seeing each other. He harasses me so that I stopped looking at the app, and I tell him to stop messaging me unless it’s an emergency. Then he tells the court that I’m an unreliable parent because I won’t check the app fast enough.
In his motion last year he initiated that we only speak through this court ordered app. But if I don’t answer him fast enough, he goes through our daughter, or calls my father. All while his mother sent me a cease and desist letter a year ago, stating that I can’t come near her or talk to her. This came about after my daughter and I called her one night and tried to get her to help us with her son. That’s when he was threatening the kids with their sports and things like that because they weren’t ready to move on with his new life after mere weeks.
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So she hung up on myself and my daughter (her own granddaughter), so of course I started texting her to finish what the hell was on my mind. Ad a result she cried harassment. So he expects my dad to bow to his every whim, but his mother has put up such a barrier between the mother of her grandchildren and her entire family. So how is that good for the kids?
Like I’m Some Sort Of Monster…
His sister took my son and hers to a movie theater. My daughter told me that they were there so I stopped in to see if I could say hi and use the restroom on my way home. I found out the next day that my ex sister-in-law saw me there told my son and hers that they had to bolt. They left the movie that they were going to see and went to a different movie theater and had to see something else. Then my son was uneasy because he wonders why this woman he supposed to trust is running away from his own mother- like I’m some sort of monster.
I can go on and on and type deeper into every aspect of my life. But I’m not here to bore you, or to throw my own pity party. I’m here to entertain you with discussions about our favorite Soap Opera and the beloved actors and characters we all love.
MY PROJECT, MY WORK, created in MY MOTHER’S MEMORY…
I have a big fight ahead of me still, and I thought you all should know why my content production has slowed down. So here’s the details on what’s happening with GeneralHospitalBlog.com…
Meanwhile, during all of this I discover that he’s been hacking into my WordPress Dashboard (where I create my GH Blog content), my Business Meta (Facebook and IG) accounts, my Google Business accounts, and he has gotten my business profile suspended from Google Business Profile. Resulting in devastating financial loss.
Fighting For The Rights To My Website And All Affiliated Accounts
I made a police report last May and he was charged with two separate felonies. Unfortunately, a complete misrepresentation of the case led to the dismissal of charges. The judge declared that this could be a marital asset and that my ex-husband could have every right to be logging in to my accounts. This only inflated his already dangerous ego, and the situation has calamitously impacted my business, and ultimately my livelihood.
Fighting For What’s Mine- My Kids, My Career, And My Sanity… and so much more.
I have spent the last year and a half fighting for what’s mine. My kids, and my job- which are the two most important things to me. He knows exactly how to hurt me. Sure, I needed some help in 2011 to get this thing going. He helped with tech issues and that’s about it. But it was never considered his, not once. So much so that we did not even mention this in the divorce decree because there was no argument of who this website and all of the affiliated accounts belongs to.
GH Blog Is A One Woman Show
Every single word written is mine and mine alone, as I am the only author in the last 14 years. Foolishly, part of me still trusted him to help me with tech support. For some odd reason at the beginning of the split I still had my irrational faith in him. (Which is why it took me 22 years to leave him). Then, he washed his hands of having any involvement in the website, and refused to help (tech). In fact, there are emails to our divorce lawyers to prove it. And those emails were sent because I told him that we needed to sit down with our lawyers and a professional Web Developer before he made any changes.
Drama You’d Think Was Straight Out Of Port Charles
I knew then that I couldn’t trust him to actually remove himself from all access. He’s a hacker by profession, well, elements of his career hack open the door for him to learn all the tricks of the trade. A funny little detail we used to joke about is that I used to call him SPINELLI because of his hacking skills. So, I knew that he would never actually cut all of his connections to the site.
I was right, and my ex husband left secret access points for himself that will be so difficult for me to find, and even more difficult for me to prove. Now I have to go back to court. I filed a motion to Intervene To Protect Assets, even though this was never a marital asset in the first place. In fact, the website used as my job to calculate my child and spousal support.
Currently, my ex husband taunts me about my career and holds it over my head as if he has the rights to it- which isn’t the case but I have to fight for it. Here’s a little background info on how this man operates. He has been getting emailed every purchase I make at Kroger for 2 1/2 years. He set up his email to my Kroger alt ID that is used for rewards. Then he lies and says it’s been like that since marriage.
Nope. Not Port Charles, Sadly.
However, that isn’t true, and even if it were, he was still receiving emails of my every Kroger purchase- including medications, and never thought once to maybe tell me about it? He types in my number at Meijer for the M Perks account (that I have never used, and we never used as a married couple), two years post divorce. All while getting gas in his fiancé‘s truck, while he’s with his fiancé. Like, use your own number, dude! Or hers!
Glad I Got That Off My Chest…and it’s not even the half of it!
Well now you know a lot of what I’ve been dealing with. And the bottom line is I cannot survive financially while my career faces this uncertainty. Over the last year I’ve picked up waitressing jobs and applied for jobs in Human Resources (my bachelor’s degree). But it’s difficult to find and keep a job when I pick the kids up from school every single day. Two kids, two different schools, and getting them to separate sports takes a lot of time from the typical work day. It’s been an uphill battle trying to find something that is flexible.
Aside from all of that, General Hospital Blog is my life second to my children. I have put so much work into this project- and my main motivation for creating General Hospital Blog is because of my late mother. She loved the show and the actors so much, and she’s the reason I watch. I know she’s so proud of me. ❤️
Here’s How You Can Help
The General Hospital Blog was originated in 2011. My love for the show, and what it represents in my life, heavily contributed to the blog’s creation. My mom was always an avid ABC Soap Opera fan, and she and I bonded over General Hospital. I’ve been a fan since the 1990s when I’d watch religiously with my mom. Sadly, my mom passed away in 2008 and I no longer get to share this with her. But before she passed, we made it to a few GH fan events. Those memories will last a lifetime.
Additionally, my love for writing, along with my major fan-girl status, got me thinking that I should start a blog! Over 13 (my lucky number) years later and here we are! I am so grateful for General Hospital, the fans, and my supporters over on General Hospital Blog.
Fast forward to today and I am a single mom with two wonderful children who love to watch GH with me. I bounce ideas off of them and they throw in their takes on what’s gonna happen next. The time consuming nature of the content leaves little time for much else. But thankfully GH is something I can share with the kids on a certain level after homework, meals, sports, and recreation! Writing, marketing, website development, tech support, editing, image and video editing, is all part of this one woman show.
General Hospital Blog needs your support to help continue to make fresh and relevant GH related content. Ultimately, the continued support of our GH Blog fans is what keeps this community going. Please consider sending a donation of any amount because every little bit helps. I love sharing the GH fun with you all. Thank You- it means more than you know.
